Fostering Independence: Helping Kids to Help Themselves

In hindsight I can see how helpful it was to establish some good habits from when my child was little. However, I need to be reminded that it is part of a mom's job to foster increasing independence in her little ones so that they will be able to function well as adults.

Photo by  Jordan Whitt

A few thoughts on how to help children help themselves:

1. Tidying and Organising: Although it is sometimes easier to just do some toy tidying when little ones are out (or even asleep!) in the long run I have found it surprisingly helpful to actually involve them in the organising process. They definitely have their own ideas about what to keep and what can go, and with some coaching they can learn how to effectively tame the chaos and come up with a workable solution for tidying up and storing toys and games. This will probably need to happen quite often, as I am sure it seldom happens that things are able to stay tidy for months at a time and collections may need to change as children grow and their needs and preferences change. But if children are involved in the process they are more likely to keep their spaces in order and take some responsibility for cleaning up.
2. Age appropriate chores/household help: Although the degree to which children help out may vary depending on their capacity, I think it is helpful for them to do at least few chores to help around the house. This will really help them when they have a home of their own to manage as they will have learned some of the jobs that need to be done in order for a home to stay clean and mostly organised. Again, it is sometimes quicker and easier to do things yourself, but taking time to help a child to learn a skill is never wasted.
3. Kids' kitchen drawer: Another tip I have found most helpful is to have a drawer in the kitchen with plastic cups and plates and small cutlery so that children can get their own things out, and eventually learn to make themselves easy snacks and drinks when they are old enough. Gradually they are able to learn to be more independent if they have access to some safe kitchen essentials. I am also trying to establish the habit of returning used items to the kitchen for washing up!
4. Routines and Visual Schedules: As I am a very visual person and have a bit of a weak memory, I rely on lists to keep me on track. For some children, a regular routine and even a "visual schedule" that lays out the day (or week) may be a helpful way to get more organised and help transfer some of the responsibility of remembering to do things. If children are too young to read, pictures may be helpful reminders and they also add a bit of fun to a "to do" list.
5. Homework stationery center: For older children who need to do homework, a "caddy" or center where all the necessary supplies are kept is a helpful way to streamline this daily routine. The challenge is just to remember to keep putting everything back in its place afterwards so it is ready for the next session!

What are your ideas for fostering growing independence in children? What are some of the good habits you have established from a young age? I would love to read your comments!

The Essential Hospital Birth Packing List: Part Two

This post is a continuation of Kirsten’s guest post, who as a new mom herself, has kindly agreed to share her recent experience and advice with expectant moms. To read the first part of the post click here.

Photo by Arnaud Jaeger

6.Toiletries

There’s nothing quite like a hot shower after a hard day’s work, but leave your fluffy white towels at home, pack something old, as well as all the usual toiletries. Leave anything strongly perfumed at home so baby can learn your scent. Hospitals are air-conditioned, so if you suffer from scratchy eyes, dry lips or skin, pack appropriate moisturisers.

7.Girly bits

No matter what kind of delivery you have, some of your girly bits are going to catch you by surprise.  The hospital will generally send you home with a packet of pads that look like they could absorb the contents of a bathtub, don’t laugh - take them! You may also want to purchase something a little less chunky as the flow becomes a bit lighter. I took one look at the suggested disposable panties, left them on the shelf and went to Pep to purchase some cheap, cotton granny-panties in a size bigger than usual. Good choice. Ice packs can also be helpful to ease the swelling and sensitivity especially the day your milk comes in, as well as breast pads to absorb the extra milk while your body figures out how much it needs to produce.

8. Baby

Amazingly, your little person needs very little for their stay in hospital.  Many hospitals supply everything you need, nappies, wet wipes, blankets and even clothing, but won’t stop you from taking your own belongings along if you want to, including cloth nappies if you’re going that route from birth. Also, don’t forget to fit your car seat in advance; some of those fellas require a degree for correct installation.

9. Paperwork

You will probably have some kind of pre-admission to take along as well as medical aid details. When you leave the hospital, make sure to gather everything you need for you babies birth registration and to add your baby onto your medical aid should you need to. You have 30 days to register your bubs, but don’t be fooled, 30 days passes in a flash!

10. Education

Let’s not forget that hospitals are businesses, while they are staffed with many caring souls, most often, they will streamline things to make it easier for staff. Know your rights.  Know what you want.  If you’re not sure, ask. If you don’t like the way something is done, say so. If you need assistance, ask. If they have forgotten to bring you something, remind them. If it doesn’t sit well with your instinct, question it. Make sure you know what's considered 'the norm' at your chosen hospital, should you like things done differently, voice your wishes. Some places will assume you’re ok with their standard protocol unless you say otherwise. This may include bathing your newborn, formula top ups, taking your baby to the nursery, vaccinations and vitamin K injections and your length of stay in hospital.

During our birth preparation class, we were reminded that actually delivering the baby was the easy part; the hard work was yet to begin.  During labor I wondered if it could it get any tougher? Indeed it could, and it did, and I’m sure we will continue to have extraordinarily trying times. My heart didn’t know such love existed, my body didn’t know if could function on so little sleep, my hands have never hung as much washing and my back never ached as much, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Our little cherub has been the most precious gift we could ever have imagined and we thank God for entrusting her care to us daily.