Fostering Independence: Helping Kids to Help Themselves

In hindsight I can see how helpful it was to establish some good habits from when my child was little. However, I need to be reminded that it is part of a mom's job to foster increasing independence in her little ones so that they will be able to function well as adults.

Photo by  Jordan Whitt

A few thoughts on how to help children help themselves:

1. Tidying and Organising: Although it is sometimes easier to just do some toy tidying when little ones are out (or even asleep!) in the long run I have found it surprisingly helpful to actually involve them in the organising process. They definitely have their own ideas about what to keep and what can go, and with some coaching they can learn how to effectively tame the chaos and come up with a workable solution for tidying up and storing toys and games. This will probably need to happen quite often, as I am sure it seldom happens that things are able to stay tidy for months at a time and collections may need to change as children grow and their needs and preferences change. But if children are involved in the process they are more likely to keep their spaces in order and take some responsibility for cleaning up.
2. Age appropriate chores/household help: Although the degree to which children help out may vary depending on their capacity, I think it is helpful for them to do at least few chores to help around the house. This will really help them when they have a home of their own to manage as they will have learned some of the jobs that need to be done in order for a home to stay clean and mostly organised. Again, it is sometimes quicker and easier to do things yourself, but taking time to help a child to learn a skill is never wasted.
3. Kids' kitchen drawer: Another tip I have found most helpful is to have a drawer in the kitchen with plastic cups and plates and small cutlery so that children can get their own things out, and eventually learn to make themselves easy snacks and drinks when they are old enough. Gradually they are able to learn to be more independent if they have access to some safe kitchen essentials. I am also trying to establish the habit of returning used items to the kitchen for washing up!
4. Routines and Visual Schedules: As I am a very visual person and have a bit of a weak memory, I rely on lists to keep me on track. For some children, a regular routine and even a "visual schedule" that lays out the day (or week) may be a helpful way to get more organised and help transfer some of the responsibility of remembering to do things. If children are too young to read, pictures may be helpful reminders and they also add a bit of fun to a "to do" list.
5. Homework stationery center: For older children who need to do homework, a "caddy" or center where all the necessary supplies are kept is a helpful way to streamline this daily routine. The challenge is just to remember to keep putting everything back in its place afterwards so it is ready for the next session!

What are your ideas for fostering growing independence in children? What are some of the good habits you have established from a young age? I would love to read your comments!